Window between the 4 of swords & 5 of pentacles.

My stalker card for September was the 5 of Pentacles- not my favourite card!

I tried to tune into what it meant, but sometimes reading the cards for ourselves is just hard. I find it far easier to be objective about other people than myself.

My objectivity was overshadowed by the fact that I knew my divorce would be finalised in September, I struggled to see beyond this being linked to my divorce. When we read for ourselves if we have a deep emotional connection to a question that can colour our reading of the cards.

A big part of Tarot reading is to be a clear channel for the information, and reading for myself I just couldn't push my emotional reaction to the divorce away.

Logically I know the 5 of pentacles is about "lack" of money, energy, resources. There is also a a balance here of knowing when to keep going with the hard work, and when to surrender and rest. I am fascinated by the other "window" card- the 4 of swords representing rest.

We had a two week family holiday in Sicily, and I had never been to Southern Europe before. I loved it- but the heat, the chaos, the sheer business felt overwhelming. And I became aware that the combination of rest and overwhelm bought out a physical burnout in me.

This was heightened when our flight home was delayed by over 24 hours, meaning for two nights I got only a couple of hours sleep, and then came back home to a very full work schedule and a weekend retreat I run annually.

Now I am "in" the 5 of pentacles I know exactly what it means- I have run out of energy and am needing to recharge. The lack is on a physical level, and that link to the 4 of swords is heightened as I rest, rest, rest. I have never slept so much in my life!

I am still working- needs must as a self employed Tarot reader, but I am scheduling in a lot more rest and rescheduling where necessary.

The greatest way to learn the Tarot cards is through life itself- and I have often pondered the two stained glass windows in the 5 of pentacles (lack) and the 4 of swords (rest). Now I'm living that polarity- I realise the only way to recover the physical lack-burnout- is to schedule in a LOT more rest.