Deepening my spirit guide relationship

It was a weird one in the barns- my seidr circle- on Sunday.

Initially there was interest in the full day session, then for a variety of reasons people weren’t able to attend. I really sat with this- was it right to cancel, or commit? I was drawn to offer a shorter afternoon session, and offer what I most needed. If anyone came it would be an added bonus.

The odd thing is as soon as I offered the shorter/later timing several people were able to join who I haven’t seen in a while. There was a reunion feel to the session, a genuine connection based on love at being together as a group.

We chatted, chanted, relaxed to a gong bath, and it felt good. Then I lead the group on a shamanic journey- allowing them to each choose the rune they wanted to journey through.

I had no hesitation, I used the fe rune to connect with Frey. He is my constant companion in all things shamanic, and often seen by other mediums and psychics as standing behind me. From the start of the journey, I felt a little on edge, not anxious, just a tension.

I journeyed to the Vanir beach, and sat by a fire chatting with Frey. Relaxed, comfortable chat. After a while his face became serious. He looked me directly in the eyes and asked “Do you trust me enough to surrender completely to me”. Now I have trust issues at the best of times, and I also believe free will is a sovereign right.  And something was pulling at my mind, an anxious worry.

I have committed to my Nordic spiritual paths over, and over again, in deepening personal ways. I felt angry at being questioned, and my answer was a forceful. “no” with the odd swear word thrown in.

Frey stood up, and he can appear very tall when he chooses to. He wasn’t angry, just empowered.

“I am your guide, not your God”

Then he sat down next to me, and left me to reflect. Sometimes the understanding needs to come from us, not from others.

I realised my Christian past was still tainting my views a little, old memories of an all powerful God with high demands at all times.

I thought of the number of times Frey has helped in in the shamanic world, and the mundane world. And how I have never questioned his guidance, always knowing it was for my benefit.

Words are complicated, and yes Frey is a Norse deity. But my relationship with him is as a spirit guide- and a guide is “a person who shows the way”. It helped me to find a deeper layer of trust in our relationship, to know I can rely on him at times when I can’t find my way.

That odd anxious feeling? That was made apparent very quickly.

Someone had wondered downstairs to pop to the toilet and called out “your son’s down here Maddy”. I knew at that point my ex-husband had over stepped the mark with the kids, they never disturb me at work unless its urgent.

There had been an altercation outside the house, a neighbour had stepped in and threatened to call the police. Luckily, he had driven off at that point.

After checking in with my kids I sat, very triggered, to reflect.

If I hadn’t had changed the time of the barns, I would have been home when this happened. I think my presence would have made the situation far worse, the outside calm influence of the neighbour diffused the situation quickly.

I remembered journaling on the timing and getting that inner voice, the shamanic whisper from Frey, that said make it 1-4, with no explanation. I have never run a workshop on this timing in over 10 years. The incident happened at 3.45 meaning the workshop was finished, but we were having the wind down chat. Perfect timing.

I’m playing with a new oracle deck, I pulled a card for advice, “protection”. (Olivia Rose)

Listening to our guides is an exercise in trust, I’m still learning after all these years.