The sadness of the Tarot reader.

I always keep a box of tissues next to where clients sit for tarot readings. Tears are common- even if life is not that bad right now.

There doesn’t seem much space for people to really talk- and be listened to.

Society seems to filter out the deep emotion, the need, the hurt- so it all lies there waiting to spill over when the space allows.

I have had people just cry when they realise that a part of my job is to validate their feelings. I don’t care how out of perspective your feelings are. They are your feelings and having them acknowledged is an important part of working out whether to let them go or not.

Perhaps this isn’t in the realm of all tarot readers. And a good proportion of my client’s simply want clear answers to fully understand what’s going on- no tears, no validation, just clarity.

But when a client starts crying the minute they feel the welcome of the space I believe my role is to support that process using the tarot. I will create spreads to reflect their feelings, leading deeper to find the core wound- whether very recent or leading back to early childhood.

One point I was perhaps a little naïve on was the heart wrenching side of witnessing other people’s emotional pain. When I started client’s often had mundane choices and confusions.

The longer I’ve worked, the more client’s I am seeing with really deep heart breaking sorrow. The pain that they normally filter for loved ones – It is my job to allow them to finally express and feel that pain.

Children lost to miscarriage or still birth is a common one for me. Woman (and men on occasion) feel that there is a social “time limit” for their grief- yet are left bereft for so long.

Parents and children lost to argument and dispute. Loved ones who no longer talk or support each other is a hard one. I have far too much of this in my own life. The deadly silence when you know a loved one is there- but there is no connection is such a heavy burden.

Those with life shortening illnesses can be a complicated experience. From rage, to regret, to courage, to acceptance- often in one reading as they reflect on their journey and finally feel able to express the full range of emotions. Too often they feel they want to protect their loved ones from the full force of their emotions.

And love. The hardest, most complicated emotion in the world. The number of people I read for (and quite often more than one family member caught up in the mad whirl of emotions) where two people genuinely love each other. But life gets in the way.

Sometimes circumstances- often money, work or housing creates such a burden that it creates cracks.

Often it’s the past- a simple issue gets blown out of all proportion by past hurts. Most of us suffer this to some degree- but at times it can be life shattering.

Communication- two people locked in not listening. I have had several people record my readings and play it to their loved ones as the only way to break the cycle of not listening.

Timing- I have seen such genuine sadness. People caught in relationships, staying because they feel responsible- yet aware they have met someone they are utterly in love with. I have seen people live with this for years upon years. Often remaining completely loyal to their relationship, but slightly dead inside as they know they have a deep deep love with anther person.

I love my job very much. Especially when I see clients step forward in their lives- it brings me such joy. But however much I try to let go of stories, and on the whole I am good at that. I am the person who hears the deepest whispers of your soul. And sometimes that sadness lingers awhile.